


Sonic Adventure Saga: Act Goof

by Aschutamales



Series: Sonic Adventure Saga [8]
Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-30 21:20:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19035808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aschutamales/pseuds/Aschutamales
Summary: Goofy looms over all things as Norman is there to help.





	Sonic Adventure Saga: Act Goof

Act Goof: Only the beginning

Goofy stared at a door. Outside were the guards Norman Osborn had hired to keep an eye on the place. Goofy didn't care at all about this fact. He took out a cigar and began to smoke it in earnest. "Fuck this shit" he muttered to himself.

Earlier, Norman had mentioned that his plans for the city would involve a serum he had perfected. The Oz serum.

With it, Goofy would be able to achieve a new form of power and thus would The iron fist of his kingship be placed upon the city that has just left. As our cigar smoking dog got up to pace around the room, he realized he had a gun in his pocket. He pulled it out and fired at the mirror. This alerted the guards, who immediately broke in.

"Is everything alright......wait. WHAT THE FUCK?" the guard screamed. He and the two other guards that accompanied him drew their side arms and fired at the mirror.

For five minutes straight, the four individuals fired round after round upon the now destroyed mirror. Their only reason for this, the mirror was evil. Goofy knew if he looked into the mirror his evil self would break free and try to find his son.

Max would never be killed and have his ass loosen by an evil version of Goofy. In fact, no one would loosen Goofy's son's ass. He would make sure of it.

"Fuck this shit!" Goofy yelled.

A guard walked over to the shot up mirror and pissed on it. Everyone nodded in approval.

Later

Sonic was on screen. He had willed himself from his unknown corner to until the land of which the city resided. Norman glared at the blue hedgehog. 

"I didn't realize how quickly he would show up. It's a good thing we left when we did." Norman stated.

"Fucking blue bastard needs to die soon" Goofy hissed as he entered the room.

"Patience. All in due time. For now, we have other things to deal with"

“Very well” A cigar was light and smacked away. Norman picked up and slammed Goofy onto the wall.

“There will be no smoking in here” Norman hissed.

Goofy spat on Norman’s face and called him a whore. Norman punched Goofy once, but the dog did not back down.

After an intense stare down, Norman let him go. “Just don’t do it again”

Goofy corrected himself.

To Sonic,

Sonic and his group has began their mission. "I'll look ahead" Espio said as he kept off into the distance. Sonic thought he was a bitch.

He hated the lineup he happened to run into. “What happened while I was gone?” He asked Luigi.

Luigi spat on the ground, “We managed to talk to the military” Luigi nodded at Iron-man, “Which thus began our teamwork with them and Iron-man”

“Where is everyone else?”

Antoine placed his sword on the hedgehog’s shoulder and gently tapped. Sonic now regained the rank of a Knight. “HOW DARE YOU KNIGHT ME!!!” Sonic roared.

“Now’s not the time to fight” Iron-man said. Although he was preparing his lock-on systems to fire at Sonic as soon as he struck. “I’m not Knighting a traitor like you” Antoine said.

Sonic spat on the ground. It was time for some answers to questions. Sonic, Tails, Antoine and Rotor all served in the Acorn Royal Military. While Tails, Antoine and Rotor defected, Sonic had decided to start a revolution and in turn a civil war. While the war didn’t last long, it did change the structure of power in the kingdom. Sonic was exiled and the kingdom was now lead by a council of rulers.

Sonic was now the biggest traitor of his homeland and his family name was disgraced. “Fuck this shit man. The Reader doesn’t need to know shit about anything” Sonic hissed.

(Editor’s note: Sonic is correct. A character should have revealed this information)

I shall ignore this and continue the story.

Sonic ignored Antoine’s remark. “Let’s get this shit rolling down the street like a blunt that needs to be licked”

Luigi punched Sonic in the face.

“You’re a bitch! I’ll fuck your mother!” Luigi hissed.

Antoine swung his blade at Luigi. The green hatted man barely dodged in time, “DO NOT SPEAK OF A NOBLE IN ZAT WAY!” Antoine shouted.

“DON’T DROP OR HINT AT ANY SPOILERS, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” Sonic shouted back.

Antoine said nothing. Buggs walked over to the scene unfolding and pulled out a cigar. “Look. I don’t give a shit about what’s going on, but…. they are coming” Buggs said.

“The fuck is even going on in this shitty as story anymore? Who are they?” Sonic asked.

Buggs slammed his fist into Sonic’s groin area, “My fists. They are here for your balls!” Buggs said.

Iron-man pushed Buggs away from Sonic, “Enough of this. We got a job to do here. If you aren’t going to actually help me, I’m going to just do it myself” Iron-man said.

Sonic glared at him. But before he spoke a response…

“Fine. Let’s go find Espio” Luigi said.

The group moved forward, destroying a few robots on their journey to the center of the city. Due to the many skirmishes between the military and Robotnik’s forces, many areas of the city were just straight up destroyed. Sonic didn’t care at all. But his friends did.

After awhile of fighting, the group encountered Espio.

“Ah, you caught up with me finally. I was just about to head back” Espio said

“Did you find anything?” Iron-man asked.

“I did. I happened upon one of Eggman’s hired fighters. It’s Nack, but I don’t think he spotted me” 

“How the fuck would he even spot you? Is he some kind of wizard?” Sonic asked.

Just then, a few airships flew overhead and a loud speaker could be heard. “No. But I do have infrared” 

It was Fang the Sniper aka Nack who thusly spoke with a digital loud voice system. “Damn” Espio hissed as he pulled out a few daggers, “A trap”

Iron-man shot off a few repulsor shots at the airships just before they dropped bomb and laser fire upon the earth.

To Daffy,

Daffy turned to Tails and looked at him.

“What?” Tails asked.

The look turned into a stare.

“What is it, Daffy?” Tails again.

No response, only a blank stare.

“What the fuck do you want, bitch?” Tails yelled.

Nothing was spoken and so Tails slammed his fist into Daffy’s face. “Woah! Guys! Stop it! This is no time to be fighting each other!” Vector called out. He stepped in between the two.

“What is wrong with you two?” Mighty asked.

“This fucker just started staring at me for no reason and I don’t look that at all. I’ll fuck him up if he even blinks at me” Tails explained.

“Your PHD means you can probably do a piss poor job at licking my balls, Tails. I’ll have you know that I’ll beat your ass into the ground with not only my fists of Kung Fu but also my penis” Daffy finally responded. He was trapped in a vortex of mind control from the Elder Gods. They told him that a version of himself from an alternate universe had just been killed off. While he shouldn’t have to worry about that since it was not time travel in any shape or form, he might have to investigate this at one point.

“So what are our plans now?” asked Zarl.

The group had relocated to where Ray and Mighty Mouse were. “Geez guys, I can’t believe we got ambushed by some crazy ass fuckers. Kinda reminds me of that time on South Island” Ray laughed.

“Ray, your mother was possibly the nastiest of whores I ever fucked. One time I put my balls in her asshole in an attempt of doing legendary sex moves on her. But she was a cheap slut and I was fucking drunk” Daffy said. Ray didn’t like that and punched Daffy in the face.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP HIM?” Daffy yelled to Vector.

“Well you kinda deserved that” was the reply and everyone but the duck agreed.

"Bitch..." Daffy swore under his breath.

To Donald,

Donald knew that Sonic's group would get through Fang's trap very quickly. While Fang was an excellent fighter, the skills of Sonic's team outshines his chances of victory.

"We have to be absolutely sure we are ready" Donald announced.

"Oh I'm ready. Ready to kick some hedgehog ass" Bass said.

"Good. We move out soon"

To Spiderman,

Spiderman, Nate and Willie had set out to complete a very special mission. They needed to get inside of the Eggships. 

“This will be rather tough to accomplish, don’t you think?” Willie asked.

“All we need to do is just get captured. Should be easy enough” Peter said.

“I don’t know…. this might be a bit of a bad idea” 

A patrol of egg pawns was nearby and they spotted the trio. 

“Halt intruders!” One pawn said as it rushed over.

“We’re halting, we’re halting!” Willie said.

“Did he really have to say ‘halt’? Wouldn’t a ‘Stop there’ have worked better?” Peter asked which rewarded him with a elbow to the side and a ‘sssssh’.

The plan had indeed succeeded.

To Kill,

Kill was in space and awaited the moment he where he could become superman.

To Goofy,

Goofy watched as his former allies moved about in a vain attempt of recapturing their city. He hated them all for attempting to further their foolish hopes of world peace. He hated the blue hedgehog most of all. Perhaps things could have been different if that speedy moron were a bit nicer. But no, now the only thing that it was time for was death. Goofy mentally prepared himself for what was about to happen.

“The Oz formula can be a bit harsh but your body should be able to handle it. If not, I’ll just leave your body out on the curve for the trash” one of Norman’s scientists announced. If the procedure worked, Goofy would have to remember to skull fuck that asshole.

He stepped inside of a camber like device and strapped himself onto a table. He was ready.

“We shall begin at once” the scientist said as he pushed a button.

The chamber closed and gas began to fill it. Green gas.

Goofy closed his eyes and thought of his son and the how the world would change after today. This was something he'd make sure of.

End Zone


End file.
